A Flood Of Memory
by Clez
Summary: Jonas just after the events of 'Metamorphosis'.


Standing in front of the mirror over the sink, he stared at himself, and let the memories flood into his mind. He recalled the recent events, and all the emotions, all his actions... all of it just came rushing back in a sudden tide of memory. It had all happened so fast. From the moment they had stepped through that Gate, and then returned, it had seemed like one giant blur.  
  
But he was just rushing his mind through things, he knew that. He needed to slow things down, look at them carefully. But it had all been so sudden. And quite odd.  
  
Jonas Quinn looked at himself, still dripping from the shower, covered in his bathrobe, and sighed. He wasn't so sure he wanted to remember fully what happened... but he needed to. He might have missed something. Something important.  
  
He remembered seeing the alien brought through the Stargate by the Russians, and how the panicked man had ranted about Nirrti, how she had been using his people... changing them. He had gone into some kind of shock, and his system had just... well, Dr. Fraiser had described it something along the lines of his cells just breaking down entirely. He had watched that man die horribly in the corridor, right in front of the elevator.  
  
From then on, it had only gotten worse.  
  
Grabbing a towel, and starting to run it over his head vigorously, he thought on to the next event. Arriving on the planet. There had only been about six Jaffa for them to take deal with, if that. That had been easy. They had done that without trouble. SG-1 were used to dealing with that sort of thing. A couple of charges of C4, and some carefully placed shots on the Colonel and Teal'c's account, and the Jaffa had been taken care of without hassle.  
  
Colonel O'Neill had led SG-1 to Nirrti's hideout. They had entered it without confrontation, something that Jonas had found extremely odd. He had expected some resistance from the Jaffa at that point. But there had been nothing. Not a thing.  
  
Well, unless you counted the natives Nirrti had been using as guinea pigs. That had been something along the lines of guards. They hadn't truly become that until one of them had read the Colonel's mind, realising their plan to destroy Nirrti. It had gone downhill from there.  
  
Major Carter had been told to investigate the machine, something they had immediately expected to be technology of the Ancients, and O'Neill had run off to brief Lieutenant Colonel Ivanov.  
  
That had left Teal'c and Jonas to take the four natives where they would feel more comfortable. That had been a mistake.  
  
That had been when they had revealed their knowledge of their desire to rid the world of Nirrti. They hadn't liked that one bit. One of them had been telekinetic; something Jonas had only read of, and never actually thought possible... he had never considered it a reality, even if Nirrti had manipulated the poor man.  
  
He and Teal'c hadn't had a chance. There would have been nothing they could have done against such power. He remembered not being able to move, being literally pushed to the ground with the force, and then thrown into the cage like he weighed nothing. Not to mention having their weapons torn away from them with astonishing ease.  
  
Pulling the towel off his head, he stared at it as he remembered the man shutting the cage doors on them, locking them in, and removing their radios. Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter had had no way of knowing what had happened to them.  
  
If he hadn't felt it cowardly or weak, Jonas would have tried calling out to Major Carter. who knew? She might have heard him, gone for help.  
  
That wouldn't have done any good, and you know it, he told himself.  
  
After that, it hadn't been long until the unconscious forms of the two Air Force officers had been brought down. They had been placed in the cage next to Jonas and Teal'c. Jonas realised then that it was a little symbolic... the humans together, and the aliens together, separated, cut off from one another. He hadn't noticed before.  
  
Tossing the towel into the laundry bin, he crossed to his locker, opened it, and removed his clothes, dumping them rather unceremoniously on the bench next to him. His mind was elsewhere.  
  
Lieutenant Colonel Ivanov had been dragged in next, and it had hit Jonas right away that something wasn't right. He had looked exactly as that alien man had when he had arrived on Earth. He was soaked from head to toe, literally dripping. Jonas had known immediately that the man hadn't had long to live. He was just too afraid to admit it to anyone, including himself.  
  
He had wanted to hurt the natives when they had taken Sam away. She was part of his family, and he wanted so much to protect her. But locked behind those bars, he had felt so weak and helpless. He had felt useless.  
  
He remembered Colonel O'Neill volunteering himself to go to Nirrti... that had been noble. Why hadn't Jonas done that? Maybe it might have been different. He had no way of knowing if it would have changed anything.  
  
The wait for Sam to return had been long and heart wrenching. He remembered hearing Ivanov's pained moans. The end had been so near for the man. Jonas had wished he could have helped him... he wished he could have eased the pain for the man, not that he knew how. He was no medic.  
  
And then Sam had been brought back, close to unconsciousness. Jonas had been furious. He had barely heard them call for him to come next. He had been so angry, and he had bottled it all up inside, that when he emerged from the cage, it just exploded out of him so suddenly he had shocked himself a little.  
  
Jonas was a little ashamed to admit how good it had felt to see the look of terror wash over that psychic's face. Slamming him up against the wall had helped to release so much of that tension he had felt inside that raising his fist to strike had come without thought. He had been so close to hitting that man.  
  
But he had heard the shout of the telekinetic, and the crash of Teal'c hitting the floor as the Jaffa was tossed aside. And then the resistance in his own arm. It had hurt, but Jonas hadn't cared. He had pushed so hard against the force that he thought his own arm was going to tear apart. Jonas had ignored the pain in his own limb, so badly wanting to hurt the psychic man.  
  
"You didn't see that coming," he remembered saying, his voice cold and full of anger, shortly before being thrown to the ground by the telekinetic. Why hadn't he left Jonas alone? If only he had known then what Nirrti was doing... that didn't matter now.  
  
Jonas recalled the tingling sensation cascading up and down his arm from the release of the telekinetic resistance, and it had pained him a little to move it at all, even as he had got to his feet, and forced to Nirrti and her machine.  
  
The look on the Goa'uld's face had made Jonas even angrier. She actually looked proud of herself. How could she? After what she had done. She had murdered so many people over her time... but none of that even mattered to her.  
  
Jonas wasn't even sure why he had stepped into that machine without being told. He remembered the sound of her voice as she had said, "We have not met."  
  
So many sarcastic replies had come to mind, but he had been very well aware of just how dead he would have ended up as a result. "No, but I've heard so much about you," had been his deadpan response, hinted slightly with just an edge of sarcasm.  
  
The machine had activated. He remembered that part without even trying. The colours and patterns of DNA had swirled around him, and he had stared at them curiously for a moment before recalling the dire circumstances in which he had found himself.  
  
Pulling on his shirt, and running a hand subconsciously through his hair, he sat on the bench with a sigh.  
  
If he hadn't have known it was futile, he would have lunged for Nirrti the minute she stepped off that pedestal. She had already falsely been led to believe Jonas wasn't human, but she was so excited at the prospect of a perfect host, she had probably ignored Jonas' denial of the claim.  
  
She insisted he was more different than he knew... that being on Kelowna all his life, instead of being born and raised on Earth where his people had originated had changed his people so much more than he had been led to believe. She had stared up at him in awe... fascinated by the prospect of success. Jonas had wanted to gag at the look of glee she wore.  
  
Everything else up until waking up on that cushioned couch was a complete blur to Jonas, and staring blankly at the open door to his locker, he felt he memory of seeing Nirrti laying a little too seductively across the room from him.  
  
He still, even now, couldn't remember how Nirrti had rendered him unconscious... it was useless to try and remember.  
  
Why was everything else so clear? And why was his head pounding so much at the memory?  
  
He remembered her crossing over to him, and sitting beside him, shuddering at the memory of her touch. It had been frighteningly gentle... for a Goa'uld. Her closeness had disgusted Jonas, and he didn't regret that he had taken the opportunity to deny her offers offensively.  
  
Of course, it had earned him a painful strike across the head, sending him falling to the floor... but it had been worth it. He had revelled in the sheer look of disappointment on Nirrti's face when he had told her that -given the power to do so- he would destroy her willingly.  
  
Rubbing his hands over his face, he scratched the back of his head with a groan at the memory of being led back to the cages below... where Ivanov had disappeared. Sometime during Jonas' absence, Ivanov had died.  
  
And Sam hadn't looked far off.  
  
Remembering his urge to collapse to the floor in exhaustion and resignation, Jonas saw clearly in his mind how O'Neill had tried to explain to the natives how Nirrti was misusing them... treating them like they were nothing.  
  
They had ignored him... and even threatened him with a tug of telekinesis. After that, Jonas had seen the Colonel leave the cage quietly.  
  
Whilst the Colonel had been gone, Jonas had watched with a heavy heart as Sam's condition had deteriorated, her brow becoming damp with perspiration, her breathing ragged. She had looked deathly pale, her blonde hair limp around her temples.  
  
I wish I had done more to help, Jonas thought sadly, the familiar sensation of weakness and uselessness coming back to haunt him as he remembered simply standing at the bars to the cage, staring down with a frown at his dying friend. He hadn't even tried to talk to the natives, unlike Teal'c, who had constantly tried to tell them that the one they believed to be a god was actually a parasite.  
  
The sound of the cage door creaking open rang through his skull, and the memory of the two natives and O'Neill returning with urgency flooded into his mind.  
  
The Colonel had run in with intent to Sam, taken her gently in his arms, and carried her up to the machine, Jonas in close tow, watching Major Carter with an almost loving gaze. Why, when the doors had opened, was the only thought running through his head something along the lines of 'What happened?'  
  
Jonas should have run right in to Carter, and checked to see if she was alright. But something had frozen him in his place... kept him glued to the spot, unable to move until Colonel O'Neill had already done the chivalrous thing.  
  
And then the machine again... worked by the psychic, who had healed Sam, and reversed Nirrti's process on her. She had emerged from that machine well again, and Jonas' heart had lifted with joy at seeing her healthy again, and with a smile.  
  
Jonas had taken some sick form of satisfaction in seeing the dead form of Nirrti lying with a broken neck on the floor, her lifeless eyes staring coldly out into the world she had used for her own purposes. And one of her own creations had ended her pitiful existence; before she had been able to harm anyone else Jonas loved. There was a certain sense of irony to it that Jonas admired.  
  
With a deep breath, Jonas stood from the bench, banishing the memory of the walk back to the Gate from his head. All he needed to know was that they were all okay, and after the natives were healed, the machine was going to be destroyed.  
  
He closed the door to his locker with surprising gentleness, considering the violent track of his latest thoughts, and looked once again into the mirror, studying the face that stared back at him with curious green eyes.  
  
Blinking once, Jonas glanced at the floor, donned his jacket, and left the room. 


End file.
